Reserve a hotel or Inn, or ski lodge
in Vermont at Discount Web Rates
Top 10 (or so) Vermonter Events
From a totally unofficial, tongue-in-cheek straw poll, here are the Top 10 Vermonter Events from real Vermonters!
One friendly flatlander polled said that his number one event was watching some of us crazy Vermonters taking part in some of these events.
- Real estate reappraisals - The listers are out in force and we're trembling in our galoshes. Remember that 1969 raised ranch that Uncle Joe put up for $28,000? Well hot damn...now they're saying it's worth $228,000! Kids & adults alike will love to watch as those pesky darn taxes go higher and higher.
- Going to Burlington - Big Betty buys a new set of bloomers. Betty isn't getting any younger but she is gettin' a tad wider! Last year, we all cringed in terror as Big Betty walked out onto the ice up in South Hero where we were ice fishing. At 5'2" tall and 360 lbs., that woman could make a toilet nervous to see her coming. This year, she's looking for some of those stretch pants that she used to buy at Ames. After 2 years, she's ready to make that BIG trip that a lot of Vermonter's save for special...going to Burlington!!!
- Skimping on heat - This year we're all taking part in this event (except for maybe those with "deep pockets"). Will the prices keep going up & up? Where will they stop? Will the oil bill top the mortgage payment and put us all on welfare? Those with wood heat, get some extra fun in the event ("hmm, what can we burn now to keep warm?"). There goes Granny's wooden leg!
- Watching the tow trucks - We get to watch this event every year but the flatlanders (and a few of the natives) get to have more fun and participate. Seems like whenever the snow comes down, people get nervous and stomp on the gas to try and beat the storm. The big winners in this event are the tow truck companies.
- Watching TV - For some it's football or ice hockey. Anyone who's the type of person to watch skiing or skating on TV would probably be out doing it themselves. Some of us like to stock up on DVD's for the weekend. There's a few folks who don't know what DVD's are yet so they're still getting used to the idea of VHS tapes. Then there's a bunch of us who just want to see the news and weather at 6pm on the weekend. Yup, we're the ones who cuss and swear at the TV because the damn football game has 15 minutes left in the 4th quarter. 15 minutes...yeah right! Anyone knows that 15 minutes in "football time" is about an hour in human time. Why does a play in football only last a few seconds, while the majority of the time is spent replaying it from every angle and watching guys limp around with hands on their hips? Well, Darren Perron (of WCAX) and 60 Minutes...you're outta luck. This viewer is tuning to channel 5 (WPTZ)!
- Gossip - Quick, peak out the window because the neighbor's got company! Who are they relatives, friends or cat burglars? Inquiring minds want to know. Did the guy down at the mini-mart get a hairpiece or is that them hair plug thingies? How come Jimmy's wife is seeing her boyfriend's cousin who was staying at the in-laws last weekend? How come that store in town is making so much money and expanding? They must be selling drugs. Did you see them flatlanders move into the big Gottrocks mansion up on the hill? I never see 'em go to work anywhere. They're probably into organized crime.
- Protesting - If you've ever been to Church St. in Burlington, most likely you'll encounter a protester of some sort. Whether it's the war, George Bush, abortion, dogs in restaurants, smoking in bars, etc. there's always something to participate in. Just grab a sign, write down your beef and pretty soon, others will join in. Please take a bath though. Some of them can be pretty ripe (these would be the folks who would probably take to protesting against soap).
- Decorating the Christmas tree - Now that Thanksgiving is over, it's time to get that tree! Make sure you get a wreath too. Get a good, fresh one because it's got to last at least until May or until it turns brown. Don't worry about the outdoor Christmas lights. If you had any common sense, they'd still be hung out from last year. Simply plug 'em in and enjoy!
- Shopping for no reason - It's a sunny day and nobody wants to stay inside staring at the TV. Let's go shopping. For what? Doesn't matter, we're bored. If we buy something we've already got we can return it next time we get bored!
- Go on a trip! - Every real Vermonter knows that THE big trip is to Burlington. Don't have time? Afraid of all that traffic? Take a trip across the border to Sherbrooke for Chinese food. Although this is a Northeast Kingdom event, other towns can participate too. Those living near the NH border can venture forth to Littleton or Keene, etc. That's almost like traveling to another country! Lucky folks closer to the NY side can venture over for a peek at the Adirondacks. As for you poor people near the southern border to Massachusetts...you have our sympathy.
